Every story starts somewhere.
And mine begins in a small town called Silver Springs, Nevada.
My mother was an ex-show girl.
Emphasis on the "ex."
There's my father.
He came by for the beer.
Whoa. Oh, my God. Look at this.
Oh, my God!
Happy birthday, Donna
Whoa, whoa
l didn't get to blow out my candles.
But l do remember my wish.
That l could get as far away
from Silver Springs as possible.
Well, that didn't happen.
Come on, sweetie.
My mom, always optimistic,
was on her fourth husband, Pete.
Come on, baby. Come on.
Ugh. What happened?
Rodney. His son.
No need for DNA testing on that one.
l still had my mind on a different life
beyond Silver Springs.
Then l met Tommy, the high school quarterback.
Boy, was he a great kisser.
Together, l knew we were going places.
He went as far as assistant manager at Big Lots
and used his pull to get me a job in the luggage department.
This is the best bag money can buy. Bar none.
You've got the nylon twill with DuPont protective coating.
This is the bag you use when you fly?
Well...
l've actually never been on an airplane,
but if l ever get to go on one,
this thing is gonna follow me around like my own little dog.
My birthday came,
and l didn't have to make the same old wish.
Tommy and l had found our way out.
Hey. l caught you.
Donna. Hey.
l thought you didn't get off till 8:00.
l got Becky to cover for me.
Oh.
Oh!
Now that you're here...
Let me have the card.
No, no. lt's silly.
Just forget about it. lt's actually kind of corny.
Hey, l brought that dress that you like.
Want to watch me change?
-No, hey, Donna. -Ah!
Don't read that.
Come on. l like things that are corny.
You're breaking up with me?
ln a birthday card?
Why?
Well, they don't make breaking-up cards.
l thought that...
We had plans.
Donna, don't take this the wrong way.
l decided to take somebody else to Tucson.
Somebody else?
Yeah.
Linda from Lawn Chairs.
Actually, it's Brenda in Barbecues.
Look, Donna, you're a great girl.
Really, you are.
But with this promotion and transfer to Tucson,
l just need to shake things up a bit.
Business is business.
Come on, Donna. Face it.
You're a small-town girl.
You belong here.
We're back with more "Pure Oxygen,"
talking to Sally Weston.
Can you tell our viewers
the moment you decided to change your life?
l left my job at Big Lots
and thought about becoming an alcoholic.
Just kidding.
But then something happened.
There l was with garbage in front of me.
The worst moment of my life.
l thought, "What am l gonna do?"
For a second l was real scared.
Since l was a girl, all l heard from people was,
"You are nothing. Nothing is what you deserve."
But that night something clicked.
And l just knew l was worth something.
From a little girl in West Texas
to the world's most famous flight attendant.
Author of "My Life in the Sky." Can we get a shot of that?
Motivational speaker.
l'm curious. Why'd you pick flying?
No matter how much l love that sleepy little town,
none of my dreams were waiting down there.
They were waiting up there.
And frankly, people, no matter where you're from,
no matter who people think you are,
you can be whatever you want.
But you got to start right now.
Right this second, in fact.
But how?
You should start by buying my book.
l agree. But you can't have my copy.
"My Life in the Sky."
We'll be right back with more "Pure Oxygen."
l took Sally's advice.
Sure, Sierra Airlines wasn't the biggest and the best.
lt was the smallest and the absolute worst.
But everybody has to start somewhere.
Donna, why do you want to be a stewardess?
Well, for all the travel opportunities.
And for the excitement.
We're a budget airline. We fly from Laughlin to Fresno.
Once a week to Bakersfield.
We got five planes. We fly gamblers and drunks.
Right.
l want to provide those gamblers and drunks
with the best service in the sky.
You're gonna love the uniform.
Our motto is "Big hair, short skirts,
and service with a smile."
Sir, please fasten your seat belt.
You nervous?
l'm Sherry.
Donna.
Welcome to Sierra.
As much as you can today, sweetie, just stick by me.
l hear we're full, but it's a piece of cake.
Okay.
Okay, the overhead bins are closed and the cabin is secure.
Good job. l'll do the safety.
Go tell the captain we're ready.
Okay.
Welcome aboard Sierra Airlines flight 312 to Fresno.
There are three emergency exits.
Captain, we are --
Captain?
ls he all right?
Don't worry about him.
He'll be fine.
l'll poke him with a stick, and he'll get at it.
lf not, l'll give him his blanky and...
take matters into my own hands.
Steve. Steve Bench.
Call me Copilot Steve.
l'm Donna Jensen.
l'm a trainee.
You nervous, Donna?
Nah.
Well, yeah. A little bit.
Well, don't worry.
l've had only two near-misses and a couple of minor crashes.
l chalk it up to experience, and l'm feeling better about it.
l'm joking.
l knew that.
lf there's anything l can do, you come up here. Okay?
Put your hands on your knees.
They don't want them flailing about if we crash.
l'm gonna teach you
All about lovin'
Sit yourself down and take a seat
All you gotta do is repeat after me
A-B-C
Easy as 1-2-3
As simple as do-re-mi
A-B-C
1-2-3, baby, you and me, girl
lt's just like a roller coaster.
You ever been on a plane before?
Well, yeah.
l mean, you know.
Sometimes it helps if you don't look down.
l'm doing great.
Shit!
-lt's just the wheels. -We lost the wheels?
No, Donna. Relax.
l am relaxed!
Oh! Oh!
We're gonna crash!
Oh, my God! We're gonna crash!
-Come back here! -We're gonna crash!
We're gonna crash!
Sit down!
Thank you. Fly with us again.
-Enjoy the sights. -Thanks.
How you doing?
l was terrible.
l couldn't walk. l spilled the coffee.
l totally freaked out the passengers.
lt wasn't exactly a frozen lake up there.
Turbulence is tough. You'll get the hang of it.
Am l gonna get fired?
-l'm gonna get fired. -Nobody's getting fired.
Really. You're gonna be a pro.
You're going places.
You think?
l'm a pilot. lt's my job to know where people are going.
One for you.
Put your seat in the upright position.
Ma'am, would you put your tray table up?
To fasten your seat belt, insert the metal fitting.
Before long, l was flying full-speed ahead.
l even got my own trainee. Christine.
There wasn't a lot to do on weekends.
There was always tanning at Lake Havasu.
l can't believe your boyfriend owns this whole houseboat.
lf you don't marry him, l am gonna kill you.
First of all, sweetie, Herb ain't asked me.
Oh, my God!
What's wrong?
My clasp broke.
There's some safety pins in a shoebox in the bedroom closet.
Go topless.
You are a very bad influence on me.
Thank you.
Mmm-mmm. Lake Patrol at 2:00.
Hey, Sherry. Herb around?
Don't know. Might be inside.
What'd he do? Take a leak in the lake?
The guy ran off with my flare gun and never returned it.
Well, you have my permission to teach that man a lesson.
Oh, Ted, this is Christine.
lt's a pleasure to meet you.
Hey, let me know if you need any backup.
l might take you up on that.
Freeze!
l am so sorry.
l thought you were Herb.
Do l look like a Herb?
No, ma'am. You look nothing like a Herb.
l'd appreciate it
if you could find it in your heart to forgive me.
lt's all right.
Who are you, anyway?
l'm no one. l mean l'm Ted.
My name's Ted.
Well, Ted, l'm Donna. You can uncover your eyes now.
lt's nice to meet you, Donna.
My clasp broke. l was looking for a safety pin.
Don't move. Help is on the way.
Clasp, huh?
What are you gonna do with those?
Turn, please.
Okay.
You new around here?
Yeah.
l work with Sherry down at Sierra.
Oh.
Uh-huh.
Okay. All set.
Thank you.
lt was the least l can do.
Being that you're new around here, l have to tell you
that it is my official duty to give all newcomers
a special guided tour on my boat.
-Oops. -Oops. There you go.
Hey.
You mind if l come with?
Okay, sure. Yeah.
Suddenly you're in this fight alone
-Whoa! -Whoa!
And the night's the hardest time
When the doubts run through your mind
'Cause suddenly you find yourself
Beautiful, huh?
Thank you.
lt really is.
Ted, would you oil my back?
Okay. Yeah.
-Thank you. -Sure.
So, how'd you become an officer of the law?
Oh, l'm not.
l'm a student. A law student.
Or l was. At Ohio State.
My family's from Cleveland.
Was?
Yeah, l quit my final semester.
And then l went bumming around for a few months.
And now l'm here for a while.
Yeah, l quit high school.
Would you do my shoulders for me?
Why'd you quit?
-Well, l was... -l don't...
Everything was on track.
l was on my way to being a big-shot attorney.
l had a hot law firm all lined up.
And then l thought, "What am l doing?
ls this what l want?"
My whole life was over before it had begun.
l wanted to travel.
l wanted to see the world. Eat, drink, enjoy myself.
And then l had this crazy idea
that l would look for the thing that would make me most happy.
Would you mind if l saw you next weekend?
No, l swear, they do!
Can you believe we had to refuel here?
l mean, where are we? Bedrock?
-What was the bathroom like? -Awful.
-l love that lipstick. -Chanel.
Remind me. As soon as we get to New York...
l have to go straight to Vuitton.
-Are those new earrings? -The guy in Rome.
The guy in London. Thank God we're out of here.
l think l need to take a flea dip.
We better go.
Don't forget you wanted to go to the gift shop
and get a Toblerone.
Right.
You know what?
What?
We are as good as they are.
-We are? -We are?
We don't have to spend our lives
working at Sierra for some weaselly ex-bookie.
You know, l once worked for Pan Am.
Three whole months.
Uniforms were natural fiber.
What happened?
They went bust.
So you started working for Sierra?
l needed a job. Nobody else was hiring.
Well, they're hiring now.
Royalty Airlines job fair.
This weekend at the Marriot Hotel in San Francisco.
You guys, this could be so good.
Who's in?
Oh, oh
Livin' on a prayer
Take my hand
We can make it, l swear
Oh, oh
Livin' on a prayer
Ohhh, we're halfway there
Oh, Oh
Livin' on a prayer
Take my hand
We'll make it, l swear
Oh, Oh
Livin' on a prayer
This is our brochure.
lf you have any questions, feel free to ask.
"No person may serve as a flight attendant
unless that person has demonstrated
to the pilot in command
familiarity with the necessary functions
to be performed in --" Oh, my God.
You dot your l's with little hearts?
That's so cute.
Yeah, well, it's my trademark.
That and my hickeys.
Well, a girl's got to have a skill.
l was excited to be interviewed by the legendary John Whitney.
He had been with Royalty a long time.
Hi.
l'm John Whitney.
Maybe a little too long.
This one.
Head of the Royalty flight- attendant trainee program.
Tell me, why do you want to work for Royalty Airlines?
l believe that l have a lot to offer your airline.
Because the planes are...
They're so much bigger.
Oh. My gum.
Why do you want to work for Royalty Airlines?
Oh, well...
l've got a lot of answers.
l just got to think of the right one.
Take your time. Collect. Gather. Go.
Because l'm organized and efficient.
l worked for Sierra Airlines, you know.
l put that down there.
Yeah, right above Hooters.
Hooters.
Right. Oh, yes.
lf there is a task, l will not stop
until l have completed it perfectly.
Did l say "organized"?
-Got a question for you. -Okay.
What's your tolerance level for pain?
Physical pain.
Like, sexual pain?
Would you consider yourself a people person?
Oh, definitely. Big people person.
-Not just big people. -Not just giants.
-You got it. -Okay.
To learn and to follow through with all the tasks.
l'm just gonna say a few words.
-Okay. -Okay.
Didgeridoo.
Scooby Doo-Doo.
Tectonic plates.
Dishware.
Do you handle surprises well?
l scared you, didn't l?
No, no.
lt has always been my dream to work for the best.
And l think you guys are the best.
That's just terrific.
You're terrific, how about?
No. This one.
lt's called strabismus.
There's no business like "strobusiness."
l get to make jokes.
Does anything frighten you?
Oh, you mean the eye?
l didn't notice.
Oh, my God.
You're kidding.
That's the way the cookie crumbles.
But this is so unfair.
You're a better flight attendant than we'll ever be.
l'll be fine.
l been thinking about quitting anyway.
l'm sure gonna miss you guys.
We're gonna miss you, too.
Study hard. And make me proud.
Congratulations to Donna Jensen.
Getting into the Royalty Learning Center.
l'm nervous.
People say it's really hard.
A lot of people don't make it past the first two weeks.
l don't want to be one of them.
Are you kidding me?
They would have never picked you
unless they thought you could handle it.
You're smart. You're beautiful. You're charming.
You're gonna do great.
Wow!
You give one hell of a pep talk.
l got a lot of that back home. My parents are big cheerleaders.
Sally always says that the greatest asset somebody can have
is having people who believe in them.
Who's Sally? Your aunt?
She's kind of like a friend.
-Oh. -Yeah.
Oh, you know, we're gonna have a little goodbye party
Friday night from 7:00 to whenever.
Oh, yeah.
Well, l'm probably not gonna make it.
Why not?
l can be happy for you that you're leaving for an hour.
But 7:00 till whenever, the smile won't last.
Yeah, our timing is kind of terrible, huh?
l had a really good time, and l was hoping you'd be a jerk
so l wouldn't feel like l was missing out by moving to Texas.
Well, l'm parked out there.
Yeah, l'm...
Right.
So...
The only kiss we got here is a goodbye kiss,
which, as kisses go, not my favorite.
So...
-Goodbye, Donna Jensen. -Bye.
Good luck in school.
Oh, thank you.
Don't run with scissors.
Why can't all choices be simple?
Why can't they all be window or aisle?
Coffee or tea?
Not career or romance.
B. That's a fun one.
Now take off.
-Hi. -Hi.
l'm John Whitney.
Head of the Royalty flight- attendant trainee program.
Welcome and congratulations, Dana.
lt's Donna.
Sure. Okay.
Good to see you, Mary.
lt's Christine, actually.
Sure. Okay. Great.
What we have here is your Royalty Airlines amenities kit
containing airport codes and regulation manuals,
your registration packet, campus rules,
and information about our mentor program.
Yeah.
You two will be staying in dorm C.
That's a fun one. Yeah. Questions?
None. Good.
All right. Take off.
-Hi. -Hi, Cindy.
-Oh, my God. -Janette.
Sure. Okay.
Sally Weston is a mentor?
Sally Weston!
So, who is this Sally Weston person, anyway?
Who is Sally Weston?
Only the author of "My Life in the Sky."
Hmm.
Sally Weston represents an ideal
of poise and beauty and accomplishment
that every flight attendant should strive to achieve.
Oh, l like her hair.
Hello?
Yes, this is she.
We'd love to.
Oh, my God.
Would you like to ride in my beautiful balloon?
We could float among the stars together
You and l
For we can fly
Up-up and away
Howdy! Welcome aboard!
Howdy!
More white wine, girls?
Yes, please.
Oh, l'm sorry. How about you, Randy?
Just consider me one of the girls, Mr. W.
This is a really big house you have, Mrs. Weston.
Thank you. Jack built it.
Along with the rest of Rancho Esmeralda community.
-The whole thing? -With my bare hands.
How did you all meet?
Oh, that is a cute story.
Jack was flying to Maui to build the Kaanapali Towers resort.
l was serving him. This was first-class.
He must have pushed that call button 20 times.
"More warm nuts. More warm nuts."
No man alive could eat that many warm nuts.
So then, when l saw this huge pile
of warm nuts under his seat, it hit me.
lt wasn't the nuts he wanted. lt was me!
Oh!
Where have you been all my life, Mr. Man?
What was it like, Mrs. Weston, when you started flying?
Sally, please.
Oh, it was wonderful.
The exotic cities.
Yeah, l hear all those Europe guys are uncircumcised.
Nope. Not all.
So, is it difficult to get those international routes?
-You have to have seniority. -Should l apply now?
And even then, you have to speak several languages
and serve impeccably.
Oh, but it was worth it. lt was different then.
People dressed for flights.
lt was like every night going to the opera.
Every night was...
Magic.
Oh!
-You scared me. -Sorry.
There's something l want to show you.
This is all yours?
You bet.
lt's everything l wanted.
You can have everything you want, too, if you stay focused.
Follow your head, not your heart.
What do you mean?
l sense something in you, Donna. Something special.
What is it?
Hunger.
You do?
Mm-hmm. l had it myself.
l wanted Paris. First-class international.
And nothing less.
So today this is all mine.
You're just like me, Donna.
My old uniform.
Oh, that is so beautiful.
Well, of course it is. We're Royalty.
Oh, it suits you.
Feel the fabric.
lt's so...
Soft?
And luxurious?
Paris. First-class international.
Donna, say it.
Paris. First-class international.
lt's the only road to happiness.
Paris. First-class international.
lt's your destiny.
Ten-hut!
At ease.
Welcome aboard.
You should all be very, very proud.
The simple fact that you're here
at the Royalty Learning Center
means you've joined a very special family.
The Royal...ty family.
Our first goal here at Royalty Airlines
is to bring back the style and the glamour
to the art of flying.
ln the coming weeks, l'll impart to you
the necessary hands-on training
for you to function at the highest level.
Up there.
But don't expect an easy road.
No, no, no.
An easy road -- comma -- don't expect one.
l will not hold your hand. l'm not even gonna touch it.
Now, what l want all of you to do is to stand up.
Come on. Let's go. Stand up.
And l want you to look underneath your seat. Go ahead.
Taped to the bottom, each of you will find a $1 bill.
Now, what did we learn from this exercise?
We learned you have to get off your ass to make a buck.
Down.
Thank you.
Now, we don't actually learn to make bucks here,
but we do learn to treat our passengers...
...like royalty.
Yeah.
So, shall we get started?
There's an oxygen mask up above you...
On a hidden shelf.
Before helping the people who love you,
put it on yourself.
-Excuse me, miss. -Yes?
This is first class.
l want my hand towels. l want my little booties.
And l want my warm nuts!
Warm nuts. Here you go.
You call these warm nuts?
l've felt warmer nuts on a polar bear!
Stop it!
No.
What did we learn here?
Upon encountering a DP, or a disgruntled passenger,
take the following steps.
"A" -- Listen.
Two -- Acknowledge.
And "C" -- Explain.
And on a more personal note,
l have actually felt a polar bear's nuts. Yeah.
Quite toasty warm.
Get those masks on!
Louder!
There's an oxygen mask up above you
on a hidden shelf.
Before helping the people who love you...
We learned to keep our heads,
to stay calm, and to not get freaked out, okay?
Just remember the H.A.L.T. principle.
Disgruntled passengers are hungry, angry, lonely, tired,
and have a skewed vision of the world.
Okay. So that's H.A.L.T.S.
Hungry, angry, lonely, tired, skewed vision.
H.A.L.T.S.V.W.
Go!
"Asses the window --"
Okay. Stop.
What?
lt's assess the window. Not "asses" the window.
You put the wrong em-phasis on the wrong syl-lable.
...with a skewed world view,
so really, it's V.l.C.T.l.M.S.W.V.
But you get my point.
Assess the window! ls it good to go?
Drop! Drop!
Remove your shoes! Don't take anything with you!
Whoa! Yes.
Eleven seconds! The trainee record!
What's the matter?
Who am l kidding? l'm never gonna fly a 7 4 7.
Headed right for Royalty Express.
Probably wind up in Cleveland.
Christine, stop being so hard on yourself.
-You just have to concentrate. -That's easy for you to say.
You're headed for New York and London.
l am not smarter than you, okay?
Who cares, anyway, what to do in a water landing?
They don't land in the damn water.
They crash.
People always say that everyone's good at something.
That everyone has some sort of hidden skill.
What if l don't?
What if there's nothing that l'm good at?
What about your hickeys?
Yeah.
Oh. Come on.
Would you stop beating yourself up?
You are gonna get through this.
Here's what we're gonna do.
Dry those little eyes.
Where'd you get these?
Oh, from Sally Weston's house.
There's a whole bunch of them. Aren't they cool?
You stole them?
No. They're guest soap.
We were guests.
They were there for us.
Yeah, to use, you know? Not to take.
Come on. Everybody does it.
lt's no big deal.
Excuse me. Didn't you read chapter 7?
-Chapter 7. -Employment and ethics.
lf you get caught stealing anything,
you will get fired like that.
You're not mad at me, are you?
No.
Yes!
Time's up.
Pencils down. Books closed.
Remember to write your identification number
on the front of the exam booklet and pass it forward.
So, how'd you do?
New York, here l come.
Thank you.
Thanks so much for listening. Thank you.
Can l get my picture with you?
l would love that. Where do you want to do it?
-Okay. -Can you get the "R" in it?
Say "Royalty."
Repeat after me. First-class international.
Cincinnati. That's not that bad.
Miami! l got Miami!
Oh, my God!
l can't believe it!
Hey, Donna!
l got New York.
There must be some mistake.
Ms. Jensen, try and take this news with the poise and grace
that one associates with Royalty Airlines.
We expect our employees to behave in a professional manner
and to handle setbacks with integrity.
Screw integrity!
l am not going back to commuter!
Oh, my God.
l can't believe this is happening.
This cannot be happening.
Royalty Express, although commuter,
is still a member of the Royalty family, okay?
lt's not my destiny.
l want my destiny.
Well, l'm sorry.
But you'll be eligible to reapply after one year.
One year?
l was the best in my class. You were there.
l've seen it a hundred times.
You peaked too soon.
l don't understand.
How do l explain this?
You're what we in the trainee business call
a "peak-too-sooner."
Yeah.
lt happens.
l aced that test. l want to see it.
-That's not procedure. -Call Sally Weston.
-She'll tell you. -Sally Weston.
Although an excellent mentor,
she has no authority in these matters.
-That is bullshit. -Want to know what's bullshit?
Eye exams! That's what's bullshit!
l wanted my destiny, too, you know!
l wanted to be a flight attendant, but no!
There's a shit stick out there called procedure, Ms. Jensen!
And l'm here to tell you
that everyone gets hit with the shit stick!
Eye exam! Eye exam! Eye exam!
Forgive me.
Dr. Tim at the center says when l get like this,
l need to refocus.
So just give me a second, okay?
Better. Okay.
Look, you can fly Royalty Express for a year,
or you can leave the airline.
Where am l going?
Let me have a look here.
Welcome to Cleveland Hopkins lnternational Airport.
Remain seated until the aircraft has come to a complete stop
and the captain has turned off the "fasten seat belt" sign.
We know you have a choice when you travel.
We thank you for choosing Royalty Express.
l don't know if l mentioned it. l'm glad l'm working with you.
ln Cleveland! Don't you love it?
Terminal Tower. Lake Erie.
lt's like Paris, except everybody speaks English
and they're 30 pounds overweight.
We are gonna look so thin.
When you meet someone in the daytime,
you can greet them with "Bonjour!"
Bonjour!
-Bonjour! -Bonjour!
lf you are talking to a man, you usually add "monsieur."
Bonjour, monsieur.
-Bonjour, monsieur. -Bonjour, monsieur.
Good afternoon.
Welcome aboard Royalty Express flight 2 7.
Two in the rear and two in the front.
-Cheese sandwich for you? -Thanks.
Cheese.
We have one cheese left.
-Bologna or cheese? -Whatever.
Can l take this chair?
Sure.
-Hey! -What?
You told me to take it.
Ted!
Hey, Donna.
Oh, my God!
l'm great.
Oh. You didn't ask me how l was.
No, but now that you told me.
What are you doing in Cleveland?
l live here. Around the corner. Yeah.
This is Royalty's hub.
Well, express.
You're kidding.
Ted.
Oh, one sec.
That's my partner, Mary.
Hello.
Hi.
Wow.
She's pretty.
Oh, no. My school partner.
Oh.
l'm in law school.
Oh, my God!
That is so great.
lt's unbelievable, huh?
So l've got one year in Cleveland.
Then l can reapply.
l've been here for six weeks, and it's not so bad.
Well, you're basically halfway there
if you're just really, really bad at math.
So, why'd you go back to law school?
l had dinner with this incredible woman
who was charging after her dreams and not hiding out.
l thought to myself, "l could do that."
So l'm here now for a year. lt's flying by.
l really miss my family, which is uncool.
So please don't tell anybody l told you.
l promise.
Okay, here's how l look at it.
Cleveland is like this great, big, giant waiting room.
All we have to do is put in our year
and somebody's gonna call our name.
Cleveland's like this great, big dentist's office,
and we're next on the list.
Exactly.
Now all we have to do
is think about something to occupy our time.
Mm-hmm.
Hmm.
For once in my life, l have someone who needs me
Someone l've needed so long
For once, unafraid, l can go where life leads me
Somehow l know l'll be strong
For once, l can touch
What my heart used to dream of
Sometimes, just when you brace yourself
for a really bumpy flight,
it's amazing how the skies can suddenly clear.
But between my busy schedule
and the extra job Ted took to pay for school,
l spent too many nights ordering pizza
and watching TN T.
Just a minute.
Small cheese pizza with everything.
$8 even.
Just call me a sucker for a man in uniform.
l cannot believe we got this route.
Oh, my God. A real business class?
And guess what l get to do in half an hour.
-Bake cookies. -Oh, my God.
You are so not Royalty Express material.
l can't believe on a test you're as bad as me.
You studied like crazy.
Get out of here.
The more l think about that test,
the more convinced l am that something got screwed up.
l might hire a lawyer to check into it.
Hey, you could help me out with that.
l'm not a lawyer.
Well, you're gonna be.
You think so, huh?
Mm-hmm.
How is it that you believe in me so much?
Somebody's got to.
Check out 3B.
lsn't he cute?
Aside from the headphone hair.
When l asked him to put his tray in its upright position,
he said, "That too?"
l mean, hello.
And those arms. My God.
He's like something out of "Men's Health."
Well, l'll root for you even though it's against policy.
You rat me out and l'll stop letting you do my paperwork.
All l want is a little of what you've got with Ted.
Oh, God. He is great.
Did l tell you he wants me to meet his family for Christmas?
And that's bad news why?
For me, anything that ever has to do with family
is always bad news.
Please. Don't make me cry.
The thing is, Randy, l've always been this girl
from Silver Springs that everybody's said,
"You're never gonna do anything, never gonna get out of here."
l just worry that if l fall in love with Ted,
what's gonna happen
to everything l've worked so hard for?
Okay. Fine. Don't fall in love with him.
That's kind of why l'm having the problem.
lt just takes willpower.
You didn't fall in love with me, did you?
You're gay.
But it still took willpower, didn't it?